Pillow Talk
by kt2785
Summary: I'm trying to reload my story because I was told that it wasn't working. I hope that you all like it. Please review and let me know! Sawyer calls Kate late at night and they reminisce. Rated M. Completed
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my new Skate story...it's probably going to last just until the finale. Maybe a little longer depending on reviews and such.**

Her cell phone was ringing and vibrating on the table next to her bed. She moaned and rolled over. She tried to ignore it but she knew that it was him. She blindly grabbed for the phone and flipped it open.

"Hello?" she murmured.

"Did I wake you?" he asked. He sounded drunk. She moaned and rolled over.

"No," she answered sarcastically. "It's 2 in the morning, and I sound like this because-oh forget it…yeah, you woke me up."

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I shouldn't have called you-"

"Hey," she said, waking up a little more. "I gave you my number for a reason. I told you to call me anytime. So…what's going on? What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?" he asked. She rolled over and looked at the clock by her bed.

"Because it's 2:14 and you're calling me, so I'm guessing you need something," she said. "Just ask."

"I need a ride," he mumbled.

"Where are you?" she sighed.

"Sid's," he said after a moment.

"You're wasted," she said. It wasn't a question, but she wanted the confirmation.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I got-I got into a fight. I just-I need a ride."

"Home?" she asked. "Or back here?"

"I don't care," he shook his head. She sighed again and stood up to get dressed.

"I'll be there in 20 minutes," she mumbled. She hung up the phone, but could hear him thank her before she snapped the phone closed.

She was pissed. How dare he call her after everything she went through before. He knew how she felt about picking up drunk people from the bar. And he got into a fight? What was he thinking? She should just leave him there. She didn't even know why she was picking him up. He should find his own ride home. But she couldn't help it. She wanted to help him.

She pulled up to the bar, and saw him sitting on the ground outside. He had his head down on his knees. When he saw the headlights he looked up. He got up and walked toward the car before Kate got out. He got into the front seat, and without a word, she drove off. She looked over at him and shook her head. She was more angry than before.

"Kate-I-" he began.

"Don't." she said. "Just don't say anything."

She looked at him again and saw that there was a deep scrape on his eyebrow. The blood was dripping down his face. She reached into the back seat, still keeping her eye on the road. She handed him a box of tissues. Not so much handed it to him, as threw it at him. He caught it and looked at her.

"I told ya I shouldn't have called you," he said, half laughing. She slammed on her brakes and pulled over. He went forward and almost hit his face against the dashboard but put his hands out first.

"What is your problem?" he exclaimed.

"What's my problem?" she scoffed. "My problem is that I already when through this shit once! I can't do it again! I can't deal with you drinking and calling me late at night because you know I'll come get you. I can't do it. I love you…but I can't-I can't do this. So the next time you can just forget it!"

"Why don't I just get out of the car right now and walk?" he replied. He started leaving the car and she locked the doors and sighed.

"Don't be dumb," she shook her head. "Lemme take you home and take care of your face. That cut looks nasty."

She drove off again, and they were silent the rest of the way to her house. When they got there they walked into the kitchen. Kate pulled out a chair for him to sit and rummaged through her drawers for the first aid kit.

"Where's the squirt?" he said. "Is he here?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I left a 4 year old sleeping in his bed for nearly an hour…no James, he's not here."

"Where is he?" Sawyer whispered.

"With his grandmother," she murmured.

"I wanna see him," he replied.

"You lost that privilege," she said. She started tending to the gash on his eyebrow. He winced and she shook her head. She wasn't trying to be careful. When she was done, he grabbed her wrist somewhat roughly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I couldn't-I just wanted to see you."

"Well, next time you want to see me," she began. "How about calling me at a decent hour and when you're not drunk. You know what I dealt with before. You know how hard it was for me-I can't do it with you too. Jack…Jack's drinking drove us apart. And now the same damn thing is happening with us. Maybe you were right…maybe some of us are meant to be alone."

"You told me that you and me was what drove you and Jack apart," he mumbled. "But I guess that was back when you loved me."

"Shut up," she scoffed. "You're drunk. And I'm tired…I'm going to bed."

She went upstairs and pulled her clothes off. Normally she would put them away but she left them on the floor by the bed. She crawled under the covers and thought about what Sawyer had just said.

**Flashback**

The plane landed in LA and shook. Kate closed her eyes. It was the second time she was going through this. She felt a warm familiar hand touch hers. She opened her eyes and smiled weakly. Everyone else was dead. Jack died…she still couldn't believe it. Jack died saving her. The smoke monster killed him because he "wasn't the one". They were the only ones left. Hurley was still on the island…still alive, but stuck there. He wanted to be stuck there. Sawyer convinced Kate to come with him.

"So now what?" Kate asked. "I mean…we're in LA again. What are you going to do?"

"I dunno," he murmured. "What are you going to do?"

"Well, I have a house," she said. "Not much of a life anymore since Aaron is with his grandma. I don't have a job…didn't really need one. With the money that Oceanic gave me the first time. I don't-I don't know anymore."

"I guess I'll be staying here too," he mumbled. "But I have no where to stay. Maybe I'll stay at a hotel or something."

"Maybe you could-" she began.

"No," he shook his head. "I can't. You know I can't. I mean-"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I know. Never mind it was dumb."

"It wasn't-" he sighed. "Kate, I just think maybe…it's too soon. It's…I don't even know how I feel…let alone what you feel."

"Well, I-" she began.

"No Kate…don't," he shook his head. "It would be extremely meaningless right now."

"Where are you gonna go?" she whispered.

"I'll figure something out," he told her. "You don't gotta worry about me Freckles."

She didn't say anything. She started writing on a piece of paper she found in the airplane. She didn't give it to him. They departed the plane together. As they walked through the airport, people didn't seem to notice Sawyer, but several people noticed Kate.

"_That's her," the whispers said. _

Sawyer looked at her and furrowed his eyebrows. She chuckled and shook her head. She put her head down and they made it out of the airport.

"What was all that about?" he whispered.

"I'm sorta famous," she said. "I was famous from being one of the Oceanic 6...me, Jack, Hurley, Aaron, Sun, and Sayid. We were…we were all over the news…and then I was arrested."

"Whoa," he chuckled.

"Come here," she whispered. She wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back and pressed his face into the crook of her neck. She put the piece of paper into his pocket.

"Call me anytime," she whispered. "Or stop by."

"Is your phone still in service?" he asked. "I mean-"

"Well, even though it seems like I was back on that island with you for years, it's only been like a month," she answered. "I'm pretty sure my phone is still turned on."

"Good," he smirked.

They walked in separate directions to wave down cabs. Kate got into hers and watched Sawyer. He quickly told the driver to go. She saw him watch her as he drove past her. Kate breathed out sharply and shook her head.

"Where to miss?" the driver asked.

"I don't-I don't know," she shook her head. "I mean…4815 Elm street."

"Alright," he replied. He drove off. She watched out the windows. Everything was so familiar. She knew LA better than any other town she ever lived in. Maybe because she spent more time in LA than any other town other than when she was a kid in Des Moines. The driver passed the motel that she had left Aaron in with Carole Littleton. She felt sick.

"Stop!" she exclaimed. The driver pulled over and Kate opened the door before the car came to a complete stop. She threw up and coughed softly.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Sorry," she murmured. "Nothing got in the car, I promise. I just-motion sickness."

"Do you want to sit up here with me?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I'll be alright."

"I know it's really not my place," he began. "But I have a breath mint if you want one."

Kate chuckled but nodded slowly.

"Alright," she said."You're not going to throw up again are you?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm ok…I'm ok."

The driver continued. It seemed like it was taking forever to get home. They kept catching red lights. Kate didn't feel sick anymore. The breath mint really helped too. She could smell her own breath. The driver missed her turn.

"I'm so sorry," he said.

"No," she shook her head. "It's ok. Can you…can you just stop here for a minute."

"Sure," he stated, turning back toward her. "Can I ask you what's the matter?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she chuckled. "Let's just say…my home…it's not exactly…sort of bad memories that I'm going back to. I don't want to-I don't want to go home."

"Well, then where should I take you?" he asked.

"I don't want to go home, but I need to," she answered. "Just sit here for a little while longer."

Kate was watching the meter tick. It was 20 dollars…21.00...25.00...30.00...part of her thought that it was the time.

"OK," she said. "Let's go."

He smiled weakly at her. His smile reminded her slightly of Jack's…but Jack was gone. Jack was dead. She felt like crying. She felt the tears pricking her eyes. The driver drove down her street. She saw someone sitting on her front porch. She quickly got out of the cab. She paid the driver and gave him a nice tip for the trouble. She walked quickly toward him. She didn't let him stand up before wrapping her arms around him and kissing him deeply.

"Let's go in," she whispered.

"Ok," he said softly. They got up and went into the house. Sawyer picked her up and carried her up the stairs. She kissed him as he walked. He couldn't see where he was going, but he seemed to know where he was going anyway.

He was kissing her neck gently. She let out a soft breath. He moved to her mouth. She let him have complete control. It was hard for her to give it up, but he knew exactly what he was doing. He ran his hands down her body. He kissed her again. She unbuttoned his pants. He grabbed her hands and pinned them over her head. She chuckled softly. He kissed her slowly. He pulled her pants down slowly. She let out another soft gasp. He smiled at her and she urged him to continue. He ran his hands down her body, but was careful not to touch her below her underwear line. She arched her back and let out a soft moan.

"James," she said barely above a whisper. He lowered down slowly. She let out a soft moan. She put her arms around his neck. He moved slowly and carefully. She rolled them over and they both came. She laid down on top of him and he wrapped his arms around her body and she let out a soft breath. He started playing with her hair absentmindedly.

"Same time same place tomorrow?" he asked into her ear. She let out a chuckle and kissed his lips.

**Flashback Over**

Kate wished that Sawyer would come to her room. It had been weeks since they had seen each other. They had been together. Kate was beginning to think that it was something wrong with her. She and Tom had broken up because she left Des Moines when she was 17, and didn't look back. She wanted Tom to come with her, but he had gotten a full ride scholarship to University of Iowa and she couldn't let him give that up for her. Things ended with Kevin because she was a murderer. Things ended with Jack…and now things were over with her and Sawyer. She got out of bed quickly and went down the hall to where the guest room was. Sawyer was sitting in the chair staring outside at the stars.

"I'm a jinx," she said.

"What?" he asked.

"I've realized something," she said. "All of my relationships I've ever had have ended…and they've ended because of me."

"We didn't end because of you Freckles," he whispered. He got up and walked toward her. She backed away slightly and he took her hand. "It wasn't you.""I can't ever have a goddamn healthy relationship with anyone!" she exclaimed. "I mean…Aaron. He doesn't like me anymore. He tells me all the time he wants to stay with his grandma. It's been a year since I've been back here, and he still doesn't forgive me for leaving him for a month."

"He will," Sawyer whispered. "In a few years, he won't even remember it. You'll tell him about leaving him with his grandma for a month, and he'll wonder what the hell you're talking about."

"James, I can't-" she began.

"Shh," he whispered and leaned forward. He captured her lips and she gave in quickly. They backed up toward the bed.

"We were together a year," she whispered. "And I couldn't make it work."

"Honey," he began and put a hand against her cheek. "It's because of me. Kate, I'm just…I'm fucked up. You don't deserve-"

"I don't think about him," she shook her head. "I know you don't believe me…but I don't. Not when we're together. When I'm with you…you have all of me."

"Do you remember when you told me you loved me?" he whispered. She nodded and leaned against him, but didn't kiss him.

**Flashback**

It had been a month of them sleeping together. She still hadn't worked up the courage to tell him she loved him. He hadn't said it to her either. She didn't know if any of this meant anything to him anyway. She hadn't said those words, and neither had he. What if he didn't say it back? What if he wasn't over Juliet? She wouldn't say it…not yet. Not until she was sure. And what would it mean once she said it out loud? Would he move in? Would he be a father for Aaron. 3 days after she returned to LA, Kate contacted Carole. She told Carole that Claire was gone. Carole didn't take well to it. She reminded Kate about her promise. Kate had promised to bring Claire back. But when Kate mentioned that she missed Aaron, Carole told Kate that Aaron missed her too. Carole had no choice but to bring him back to her. Kate hoped that Carole would stay in touch. Carole promised she would. Carole saw Aaron frequently, but he was back with Kate permanently. Sawyer seemed fine with it. Kate had introduced them. Sawyer wasn't living there, so he didn't help Kate with any of the nighttime routines. She told him it would be too confusing for Aaron to lose another father figure. But Sawyer spent time with Aaron. She wondered if he ever thought about Clementine. She was sure he did.

"Kate?" he asked. "What's wrong?"

She was distracted. He was kissing her and doing all the things she liked, but she didn't seem to be paying much attention.

"I'm fine," she told him.

"I don't believe you," he whispered.

"I want to tell you something," she said into his ear. He pushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Tell me," he whispered.

"Me and Jack…" she began.

"Don't tell me," he replied quickly and rolled over so his back was to her. "I don't want to know. I don't want to hear it!"

"James," she said softly. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and moved closer to him. "Please. Don't be jealous. I need to tell you. I need to tell you because you deserve to know."

"Fine," he mumbled, but he didn't turn to face her.

"We were together," she replied. "But we broke up. Don't you want to know why?"

"I'm guessing because he was a drunk," he responded. "And he reminded you of your dad."

"No," she whispered. "It was because of us."

"Us?" he asked and turned over.

"You and me," she continued. "You and me…I couldn't forget you. I didn't want to forget you. So that's why I kept in touch with Cassidy and Clementine. Clementine was my way of seeing you. She…I didn't want to forget you."

"I wanted to forget about you," he mumbled. "I tried so hard to forget all about you. I didn't-I pretended that you never existed. It was easier to pretend that you were gone and that you never were here…but I couldn't. I couldn't forget you either. God, I wanted to."

"I don't know how I should respond to that," she half chuckled.

"Well, you don't have to worry about it Freckles, because I never did forget you," he whispered. "I still love you. I never stopped."

She half smiled and leaned forward to kiss him.

"I love you too. I love you so much," she said, with a partial sob.

"You don't have to cry," he smiled and leaned forward.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Yeah I do."

She let a few tears slip down her cheeks. He kissed her again and wiped her tears away gently with his thumbs.

"Why are you crying?" he whispered, pulling her closer, but still looking her in the eye.

"Because I didn't know how you would react," she shook her head. "I didn't know what this meant to you James. What if you were still in love with her?"

"Juliet will always be in my heart Freckles," he told her. "Just like Jack will always be in yours."

"For me too," she said. "I mean…what are we doing? Is all of this…is it just sex?"

"I just told you I love you," he told her. "So…no…not just sex Freckles."

"Ok," she breathed slowly. She nodded and smiled.

"I love you," he told her again.

**Flashback Over**

"Is it still true?" he whispered.

"What?" she asked. "Is what true?"

"Did you and Jack break up because of us?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "Yeah. It's always been true James."

"I miss you," he murmured. "I know it's only been a few weeks since I stopped calling, but I miss you."

"I miss you too," she shook her head. "God, I suck at this. I told Aaron…I promised him that you wouldn't disappear. When you started coming around all the time, Aaron was so scared the same thing would happen. When Jack didn't come around anymore…"

"You know why I left though Kate…I had to meet my daughter," he said. "You know that."

"I know," she nodded.

"But Cassidy won't let me be in her life," he said. "She…she doesn't want to confuse her. But she wanted me to be in her life before, so I don't get it."

"Maybe just start with letters," she mumbled. "I know it's not enough, but…"

"I know," he answered. "I have to keep trying."

"Me too," she whispered.

"What?" he asked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean us," she whispered. "I don't want us to be done."

"Kate," he chuckled. "How long did I wait to call you after I left?"

**Flashback**

They hadn't moved in together. It was just the calls. He would call her. She said to call anytime. She wanted to move in together, but she hadn't worked up the courage to ask him. They had been seeing each other for 11 months. Kate was convinced that Sawyer was never going to ask her to marry her. She was ok with it, but was partly hurt because he had told her that he was with Juliet for 4 months…and he had a ring for her. She came into the house and saw Sawyer reading to Aaron. He was teaching Aaron the words. Aaron was 4, he would be 5 soon, and Kate was confident that he would be the smartest in his class. She knew most mothers probably felt this way, but she knew that Sawyer teaching Aaron to read was a good thing.

"Mommy I read!" Aaron exclaimed. He ran toward her and flung his arms around her legs. She nearly fell on top of him. She laughed and knelt down and hugged him.

"Good job baby," Kate smiled. "Now it's bedtime."

"No!" he whined. "I wanna stay up! Uncle James is fun!"

"I know," Kate answered. She picked him up and started carrying him to the stairs. "But it's very late. Come on."

She carried Aaron up the stairs and put him in the bed. She left the bedroom and saw Sawyer standing in the hallway.

"Yeah, it's late," he said "Where you been?"

"Don't do this Sawyer," she shook her head. "It's-"

"You were with her weren't you?" he asked. "You went to visit her!"

"She's my friend Sawyer," she said. "It's not my problem-"

"Does she know about me?" he asked.

"Yes," Kate nodded.

"And don't you think it's a bit weird you being best buddies with my ex!"

"Lower your voice," she said through her teeth. She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the bedroom. He sat down on the bed and balled his hands into tight fists.

"What the hell is your problem?" she asked. "Am I not allowed to have friends?"

"She's-" he murmured. "You shouldn't be seeing her. I don't want you to see her anymore."

"You can't tell me who to be friends with James," she scoffed.

"Oh really?" he asked.

"I mean," she shrugged. "We're not married. Not like we're engaged or anything. You can't tell me what to do…no strings attached."

"Is that what all this is about?" he asked. "Because I haven't proposed to you? God Kate, that's pathetic. You two can bond over my commitment issues? No! We're not even living together yet!"

"Stop yelling at me!" she exclaimed. "I just want to know if I'm wasting my time."

"Maybe you are," he mumbled. "I gotta go."

"What?" she asked. "James, don't. Don't do this. Don't leave just because of a stupid fight!"

"We're not going to get married Kate," he told her. "I don't want to get married."

"Why?" she said with tears coming into her eyes. "I thought you loved me."

"Just because we love each other doesn't mean we're meant to be married," he replied.

"Why are you doing this?" she whispered. "James, don't do this." "I need to figure some shit out Kate," he answered. "I've been thinking about this for a while. I need to figure some shit out…and then maybe I'll be ready for all of this."

He got up off the bed and started leaving the room. She grabbed at his arm but he pulled away from her and disappeared down the stairs.

Kate stayed up on the bed and laid down. She cried. She wanted him to come back, but at the same time she was pissed.

He had been gone for 20 minutes when she heard her phone ringing. She looked at the caller ID, and knew it was Sawyer. She didn't want to answer it, but she couldn't help it.

"What?" she sniffled. She knew she sounded terrible.

"Freckles," he whispered. "I'm…I want to tell you that…I still love you…I just-you know my daughter better than I do."

"Is that what all of this is about?" she asked, sitting up. "You want to meet Clementine…let's go meet her. Cassidy's been waiting for it-"

"I need to do it alone Kate," he murmured. "Without you holding my hand. I'll call you."

"Ok," she whispered.

**Flashback Over**

"I called you nearly every day for the past month," he said.

"I know," she stated. "But it seems more like a…friendship thing. I mean…I'm ok with not getting married, but I just wish...I want you to come back. I want you to move in...no strings attached."

"Moving in is strings attached Freckles," he told her.

"Fine," she whispered. "Then don't move in. But just stay with me. Be with me...we don't have to get married. I don't want to marry you."

"Really?" he asked. "That's too bad."

"What?" she whispered. "What are you talking about?"

"Well this past month, I've been trying to get to know my daughter," he said.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I know."

"But that's not all," he replied. He reached down to the floor and picked up his pants. He pulled something out of the pocket and looked at her. "I had to track down my uncle so he could give this to me."

He handed Kate a box. She knew it was a ring box. She opened it and saw a diamond ring staring back at her.

"It was my mom's. My uncle had custody of me until I was 16...when I left," he replied. "He sorta hung on to this for me."

"What are you-" she began.

"Marry me Freckles," he whispered.

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

"_Marry me, Freckles." _

She immediately thought of when Jack proposed. Him sitting on the bed next to her. Asking if he was doing a good job with Aaron. Sawyer wasn't asking about Aaron. Was he important to Sawyer? Well that was a dumb question…of course he was. Sawyer loves Aaron. She looked at Sawyer and sighed softly.

"I-" she shook her head.

"Before you answer," he began. "I dare you to look at my smile and not want to say yes."

She couldn't help but smile back at him. He was joking. He was proposing to her and making a stupid jooke at her expense. His smile always made her smile, but now she didn't know how to react. She wanted to say yes. But there was something holding her back. She knew what it was. She knew that she would have to talk to him. Talk it through with him. She wasn't even sure he wanted to get married. She shook her head again and sighed.

"I-James, I know that we've been through a lot. We've been through everything we could possibly go through. I don't think we can survive this," she said.

"We survived The Others…we can survive this," he said.

She thought about being stuck with The Others. She thought about staying in the cages. She thought about the way that Sawyer wanted to protect her. It was in those cages she first realized she loved him. But she was scared. 4 years ago she was terrified of loving Sawyer. She knew that he could hurt her. But she knew that she was the one that would hurt him.

"Kate what are you so scared about?" he asked softly.

"Do you remember our first night in the cage?" she whispered.

"How could I forget?" he asked, and ran his hand over her cheek. She flinched slightly.

**FLASHBACK**

"I noticed something else too," he smiled. "You taste like strawberries."

"You taste like fish biscuits," she retorted. "So what do we do now?"

"Well shortcake," he began. "Now we wait for those bastards to make a mistake…sooner or later they're gonna let their guard down. And when they do, we're going to be there to put them in their place."

"Listen to you," she half giggled.

"What?" he asked.

"I've never seen you this way," she answered. "I mean, you're really taking charge."

"From inside a damn cage," he rolled his eyes. They were both sitting next to the bars of their cages. Almost trying to get as close as possible.

"Well regardless, you're being…I don't know, like a leader," she said.

"Well, now that Jack ain't here, I have a chance," he replied.

"You've always had a chance Sawyer," she stated. "You just haven't taken it. I mean…I know that Jack can be a little intimidating, but…you've always had the capacity to lead. I mean-"

"Not really my style Freckles," he interrupted. "But when it comes to me, myself, and I…I take matters into my own hands. Every man for himself."

"What about live together, die alone?" she asked.

"Jack's mantra, not mine," he shook his head.

"But he has a point," Kate said. "Do you really want to die alone?"

"Been alone all my life Freckles, working out pretty well so far," he answered.

"Trust me," she began. "You don't want to live the rest of your life all alone."

"Never mind," he shook his head. "Let's just talk about how great these cages are. Quality craftsmanship if you ask me."

She rolled her eyes but laughed. She ran her hands over the bars and moved closer. She closed her eyes and put her forehead against the bars.

"This is a nightmare," she shook her head.

"Your worst nightmare," he murmured. "The last thing you wanted was to be captured…in a cage. In jail."

"I'm ok," she told him. "I'm just-did they hurt you. I mean…that Pickett guy…he's got it out for you. I don't know what you even did. What did you do to him?"

"I didn't do nothin'" he answered. "It's him. He's the crazy one."

"I know," she sighed. "I just…I'm scared. He looked ready to kill you."

"Yeah, well so did that blonde chick," he replied. "Kate, she was going to shoot you."

"Bitch left a bruise on my arm too," Kate said, looking at her arm.

"She'll get hers," Sawyer smirked. "Don't you worry. Women like that…they end up dying alone with 100 cats."

"No," she shook her head. "Women like that find men…men they can manipulate and treat like a little puppy."

"Well whatever," he mumbled. "She ain't gonna touch you again. Don't worry."

"I'm glad you're here with me," she said, slightly shamefully.

"Why?" he chuckled.

"Because," she began. "I wouldn't want to go through all this all by myself. Jack's alone."

"Jack's gonna be just fine," he told her. "We should probably get some sleep. They're gonna have us be workin' hard."

Kate sighed and got up. She laid down on the cement slab and looked at him. He looked at her too and laid down.

"Y'know, I've never seen you this way," he replied.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You said that you've never seen me take charge," he began. "Well I've never seen you give up."

"What am I supposed to do?" she asked. "I can't escape. They'll kill me…or you. I can't risk that."

"Just don't give up yet Kate," he replied. "I'm gonna figure something out. I'll get us out of this mess."

She smiled and closed her eyes.

**FLASHBACK OVER**

"I loved you so much that night," she whispered. She leaned forward and kissed him gently. He kissed her back. They leaned back into the bed. Kate let out a sharp gasp. "Make love to me James. It's been a month. I miss you."

He backed away at first and then leaned back down to kiss her. He reached his hand down and pulled her underwear down slowly. She let out another soft moan. He kissed her down her neck and chest. He slid two fingers into her easily. She opened her mouth, and Sawyer put his mouth on top of hers to muffle her sounds.

"Oh God," she said loudly. "I want you James."

She pushed his hand away and quickly pulled his boxers down. He kissed her again and groaned. His gruff voice was in her ear.

"You are so fucking sexy," he said into her ear. "For the past month, every night I've had dreams about you. I wake up and I have to change the sheets."

He hadn't lowered down yet. He started with his fingers again. She scraped her nails down his back. He lowered down slowly and she started breathing heavily. He continued to kiss her down her body and back up to her mouth.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he told her and then he rolled off of her, before either of them came.

"Why are you being so weird Kate?" he asked. "Why can't you just answer me? I just asked you to marry me! Does that mean nothing to you?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "Of course not. I mean…of course it means something. You're not-"

"You just said you don't want to lose me," he said. "Where is-what's going on? Why? I don't even know what to ask right now."

"You don't have to ask anything," she whispered. "I'm just…you don't want me. I'm fucked up. I don't-"

"So your answer is no," he interrupted.

"You're not listening to me," she sobbed. "James…it's not about the question."

"No," he shook his head. "It's about the answer. Now I heard you…you love me, but I love you too, so doesn't that mean we should get married?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "We shouldn't get married just because! You said it yourself just because we love each other doesn't mean we should be married. Now tell me something…when were you going to ask Juliet. You had the ring…you had a ring for her…so when were you going to ask her…how were you going to do it?"

"Why are you doing this?" he asked. "Why are you bringing her up?"

"Because it's important James," she said. "I told you how Jack did it…so now it's your turn."

"You want the truth right?" he asked.

"Nope, lie to me James, that's a great way to start," she said sarcastically.

"I was going to make her dinner," he murmured. "I was going to ask her over dinner. It wasn't going to be this creative moment or whatever…just dinner."

"Why didn't you ask her?" she asked.

"Because you came back!" he yelled. She looked at him and frowned.

"So it's my fault?" she asked. "You didn't ask her to marry you because of me?"

"Yes," he nodded. "I was going to do it…I was waiting…"

"Why?" she asked. "Why were you waiting? What were you waiting for?"

"I was waiting for you," he sighed. "You…I loved Juliet. Juliet was…she was safe. I knew that she would never hurt me because we were stuck in the 70's. But she was too safe. She wasn't you. Locke said he was going to bring you back. I was waiting for you to come back. I wasn't going to leave her because that would have been a dick move, but I was waiting to see you again. To see if I was still in love with you. And when you came back…when I saw you again. I saw your face and your stupid freckles, I couldn't-I couldn't bring myself to ask Juliet to marry me because I was still in love with you."

"So then…why don't you want to marry me?" she asked softly.

"Are you on something? Are you drunk?" he asked. "I just asked you to marry me Kate!"

"I know," she whispered. "But it isn't what you want. You don't want to marry me. Being in love is enough for you. You don't want to get married to anyone. That's why you never asked Juliet. You are only asking me because you think that it's what I want. But the only thing is, that I don't want it if you're going to be miserable. You said point blank to me last month during that stupid fight that you didn't want to marry me.

"I was just mad," he shook his head. "I didn't mean it. I didn't-"

"You did," she nodded. "James, yes you did mean it. Maybe you want to believe that you want to marry me. You want me to be happy so you'd do anything to make me happy and I love you for that, but you don't want this. You meant what you said. You meant every word. When people say things that are harsh, a part of them will always believe it. Like that damn fight I had with Jack…he said that you chose to stay on the island and that Aaron wasn't related to me…he didn't mean to hurt my feelings, but a part of him, believed in his heart what he was saying to me."

"Kate-" he shook his head. "I don't-"

"You don't want to be married James," she started. "It's ok. It's really ok. I don't want to force you into anything. I don't need you ending up hating me because I made you get married. That isn't what having a relationship is about. I love you and that's enough."

"Having a relationship is about compromise Kate," he answered. "I don't need you hating me because we never got married and had a family."

When he said the word family she felt her heart leap into her throat. It wasn't a happy feeling. More like a terrified feeling. She remembered how happy he had been when she wasn't pregnant the first time. He didn't want a baby. He didn't want a family. That's not what James Ford wanted. James Ford was a loner. She knew that he loved her, but she also knew that he didn't want to be tied down.

"I just don't want to be alone," she said. "That's all that matters to me. I don't want to be alone."

"Kate, you're not going to be alone," he answered. "I just asked you to marry me. All you gotta do is say yes. So do us both a favor…answer my question. Tell me you love me and you want to get married, and put that damn ring on your finger. We'll get married and neither of us have to be alone again."

"But that isn't you!" she yelled. "James…have you ever been able to picture yourself married? A wife? Kids? Has that ever been in the cards for you? I don't think so. You don't want to be tied down! Just admit it!"

"Of course I never thought about that," he said. "But that was before I did it…I mean…I did it with Juliet. I realized I could be a good husband. I mean, I know that Juliet and I weren't married, but we might as well have been. I realized that I could be the man that you could be proud of. Proud to be with."

"I am proud to be with you," she whispered. "But I'm scared. James, you know…you know I love you. And you know that I can't put Aaron through another broken home. I mean, it's actually a damn good thing you never moved in because Aaron would have been devastated."

"Are you sure this is just about Aaron?" Sawyer asked.

"I don't want you to change, just because of me, and just because Aaron needs someone to call daddy," she said. "Just…we'll take it one step at a time…but there's something I need to tell you before either of us says anything else."

"Ok," he began. "Then tell me."

"I'm pregnant," she whispered.

**A/N: Please review! I'm not going to have time to update, probably until Saturday, but please please take a few seconds to review. More reviews=love and me updating sooner. **


	3. Chapter 3

Sawyer looked at her and opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"You know what I said," she answered.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "And I think it's bullshit! Who's the father!"

"Don't be a dick," she shook her head. "Don't do that."

"Well I haven't been here in a month!" he exclaimed. "So who's the father! You know what I don't care-"

"Shut up!" she screamed.

"I have to get out of here," he said, and he started leaving the bed. Kate grabbed his arm and pulled him back toward her.

"You are the father, you jerk." she told him, quietly and half crying. "But if you want to believe I would do that to you, then that's just fine. Leave. See if I care. I don't know how you're gonna get home though because you don't have your car here."

"How did this happen?" he asked. "We haven't done anything-"

"In a month and a half…which is about how long it takes to realize you're pregnant," she told him. "Why are you being like this?"

"When were you planning on telling me this?" he asked.

"I don't know," she whispered.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "That's really nice Kate. Just spring it on me-"

"Two seconds ago you were ready to propose and now all the sudden I'm just a stupid bitch who was keeping some secret? I knew you'd act this way! That's why I didn't tell you!"

"Fuck you Kate!" he exclaimed. "How the hell did you think I'd act. I'm not even allowed to see my daughter…how am I ready to be a dad to some other kid?"

"Because you just proposed," she whispered. "I didn't-I didn't expect you to be happy or excited, but I didn't expect you to want to never see your kid…simply because you can't see Clementine."

"So what am I supposed to do Kate?" he asked.

"I can't answer that question James," she began. "Only you can. Maybe you spend the next 8 months getting to know your daughter. Practicing and then when our baby comes you'll know. But if you don't want to be with me or don't want to be a father, tell me now, because once this baby is here…it's here, I can't just return it like a pair of jeans that don't fit."

"I didn't know _that_, was even an option," he replied. She couldn't believe what he was implying. She wasn't going to get rid of the baby.

"It's not!" she exclaimed. "But I'd rather know now, rather than 9 months from now when I'm about ready to pop. I don't want to do this by myself, but I will if you want out. So…do you want out?"

"I don't know," he whispered. "Kate, you're throwing all this at me. All the sudden you're pregnant. Why didn't you tell me sooner? I mean, if I'm the father, shouldn't I be the first to know?"

"You are the first to know," she sighed. "You know what…I can't-I can't talk to you right now. Goodnight."

"You're leavin'?" he asked. "How the hell can you-"

"Go to bed James," she said. "We'll talk in the morning. I'll take you to your car."

"We have to talk about this," he replied.

"Yeah," she nodded. "But right now I can't even look at you."

Kate left the room quickly and went into her own bedroom. The bedroom she used to share with Jack…and then with Sawyer. She laid down on the bed and took a soft breath. She was exhausted. It was nearly 4 in the morning. She fell asleep quickly.

The next morning Kate felt him laying next to her. She almost forgot about their fight the night before. She moved backwards toward his arms. He tightened his grip and she let out a soft sigh.

"We should probably get up," he whispered in her ear.

"No," she murmured. "I'm too tired."

"It's 11:35," he told her.

"Shit!" she exclaimed and jumped up out of the bed.

"What?" he asked.

"I have to go pick up Aaron from his grandmother's house," she said. "I was supposed to be there at 11:00."

She quickly picked up her phone and nearly dropped it in the process. She dialed the number quickly and took a deep breath and waited.

"Carole!" she exclaimed. "Carole I'm so sorry…I know I said I'd be there at 11...I know…Carole, I know! You don't understand…you can't just keep him from me…don't threaten me…you don't understand…James…he called me last night late…we were up late…no!…I'll be there in 20 minutes."

She flipped the phone closed and quickly got dressed. She looked at Sawyer, he was watching her.

"I'm going to get Aaron," she said.

"I need to go get my car," he told her.

"Well, are you ready right now?" she asked. "Because I'm leaving."

"Will you take me to my car first?" he said softly.

"No!" she exclaimed. "I have to go get Aaron!"

"I was kidding," he answered. "Let's go then."

The drive was quiet. Sawyer had his foot up on the dashboard. He sighed deeply and turned toward Kate.

"You're really pregnant?" he asked. "I didn't just dream that?"

"No James," she whispered. "Like it or not, I'm pregnant. And I'm having the baby."

"Ok then," he murmured.

The rest of the car ride was silent. Kate pulled into the driveway and got out of the car quickly. Sawyer got out of the car too, but stayed beside it. She went up to the house and got Aaron from Carole. She went back to the car and Aaron ran toward Sawyer.

"Uncle James!" he exclaimed loudly. Sawyer scooped Aaron up. Kate smiled but then pressed her lips together and shook her head.

"Aaron get into your car seat ok?" Kate asked.

"James, will you help me?" he asked.

"Of course buddy," Sawyer said. He opened the car door for Aaron and put him in the car. Then they both got back into the car. Sawyer looked back at Aaron and then looked at Kate.

"You have no desire to have more kids," she whispered. "I get that…but you can't be part of Aaron's life without being part of my baby's life."

She drove off in the opposite direction of their house.

"Mommy where are we going?" Aaron asked.

"I'm going to take James to his car," Kate replied, mostly talking to Sawyer. They drove to the bar, where Sawyer had left his car. Kate stopped her car and put it in park.

"Kate," he murmured. "Can you…follow me to my car? Please?"

Kate took the keys out of the ignition and followed him to his car. He put his hands on her cheeks and shook his head.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I don't want to lose you Freckles."

"Then don't," she said softly.

"I can't do this," he shook his head. "I mean…between you, and Aaron, and Clementine…what am I supposed to do Kate?"

"Do you love me?" she asked.

"You know I do," he answered.

"Then I don't get it. What choice is there?" she said. "You know what…call me when you figure it out."

"Really?" he asked.

"Call me," she mumbled. She walked back to her car and got in. Aaron was waiting quietly.

"Is uncle James coming back home momma?" he asked.

"I don't know Aaron," she whispered.

**Later That Night **

Kate was cleaning the bedroom that Sawyer had slept in the night before she came across the ring box. She picked it up and closed her eyes. She opened the box. The ring was beautiful. Part of her wished she would have just said yes to begin with. She put the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly. She walked back into her bedroom with the ring still on her finger. She sat down on the bed, and then tried to take the ring off her finger. It was stuck. She pulled harder, but it wouldn't come off. The phone rang on her bedside table. She picked it up and sniffled.

"Hello?" she asked.

"It's me," Sawyer said.

"Are you drunk?" she asked.

"No," he sighed. "I just-I called Cassidy-"

"I thought you said she wouldn't let you see Clementine," Kate answered.

"Well, I called her and told her I wouldn't give up on her," he replied.

"Good for you," she said.

"I-I want you," he said. "I want us. I'm sitting in the driveway right now. Can I come up?"

"Sure," she whispered. She hung up the phone and walked back down the stairs. She pulled the door opened and Sawyer came toward her. He wrapped his arms around her.

"It's not going to be easy," he said. "But we'll handle this. We can do it together."

"Ok," she sniffled again. She leaned forward and kissed him softly.

"Where's Aaron?" he asked.

"Asleep," she answered.

"Good," he replied. He picked her up and kissed her again. He carried her up the stairs and tossed her into the bed. He kissed her again and then kissed her down her body and stomach.

"Wait," she whispered.

"Now what?" he asked. She held her hand up and showed him the ring.

"I put it on," she said. "And now I can't get it off."

He intertwined their fingers and kissed her again.

"Do you want to take it off?" he asked.

"I don't know," she whispered. "James…you know I love you right. I want to marry you. I just-I'm scared. I'm so scared."

"Scared of what?" he asked.

"Scared that it isn't what you want and scared you'll end up hating me," she answered quickly. "And what about all that stuff you said before. You have to figure stuff out. You're just now getting in contact with you 6 year old daughter. I just-I don't want to make you do anything that you don't want to do."

"When have you ever made me do anything," he smirked. "Freckles I love you. I would do anything for you."

"I love you too," she whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

When Kate woke up she felt Aaron sitting on her. She chuckled and opened her eyes. Aaron was smiling at her.

"Good morning mommy!" he exclaimed.

"Good morning Aaron," she said.

"Oh, Aaron, I told you to let your mommy sleep," Sawyer said.

"Sorry," he frowned.

"S'alright,' Sawyer replied. He set a tray of food down in front of Kate and sat down next to her. She smiled weakly at him.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Breakfast in bed mommy!" Aaron chimed in. Kate smiled again and looked at Sawyer.

"So we're doing this huh?" Kate asked.

"What do you mean? Doing what?" he said.

"We're doing this," she began again motioning at both of them and Aaron. "This whole family thing. Weddings and babies."

"I'm not a baby!" Aaron exclaimed loudly. Kate nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, I know," she replied.

"Are you gonna tell him?" Sawyer asked.

"I think we should wait,' she answered. "I don't want him to tell everyone. He can never keep his mouth shut."

"Me?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah, you," she chuckled. "You're a blabbermouth. We'll tell them all someday. I mean…it's just the two of us anyway right?"

"Plus Clementine," he murmured. "Maybe…someday anyway."

Aaron suddenly grabbed at Kate's hand and gasped loudly.

"Mommy lookit!" he exclaimed. "A ring!"

"Yeah," she chuckled and smiled. "James gave it to me."

"Does that mean he won't go away again?" Aaron frowned.

"I ain't goin' nowhere," Sawyer answered, smiling and then winking at Kate. Kate smiled at Aaron and then put her hand against Sawyer's.

"Will you come with me to my doctor's appointment tomorrow?" she asked.

"I wouldn't miss it," he replied. He leaned forward and kissed her softly, but quickly enough so Aaron didn't even see it.

That night they were laying in bed. It seemed that these moments were the best. Laying in bed just the two of them, discussing whatever came to their minds. He had one arm around her, rubbing her back gently and slowly.

"I don't want to lose you again Freckles," he sighed. "I love you so much."

"Open your eyes James," Kate whispered.

"I'm tired," he murmured.

"I love you," she told him, moving closer. "I love you James. I'm gonna kiss you. I'm gonna kiss you all over your body."

He opened his eyes and she kissed his forehead. She kissed him down his face, but stayed away from his lips. He moved his head to capture her lips, but she moved out of the way in time.

"You waking up now?" she asked softly, moving down his chest.

"Hmm," he groaned softly and nodded, but didn't move. She kissed him down his neck and chest. And then she moved back up.

"Maybe we should get some sleep," she whispered.

"You're such a tease," he answered, rolling over so he was on top of her. "You got me all hot and bothered now. Might as well finish what you started."

He moved against her and she gasped softly. She pushed his boxers down quickly with her feet. They both breathed sharply and heavily. He kissed her neck as he lowered down slowly. She moaned loudly and he covered her mouth with his hand. She closed her eyes and then opened them, she seemed to be still enjoying it, but she was breathing more unevenly. He moved his hand from her mouth and started touching her. She moaned again louder than before, and he quickly covered her mouth again, smirking and chuckling softly. She screamed and wriggled underneath him, only this time it wasn't from pleasure. She was panicking. She quickly got out from underneath him and got out of the bed. She covered her self with her hands and then looked down at him.

"Freckles," he said. "Kate, are you alright?"

"No," she shook her head. She sighed softly and sat down and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I'm fine. Come here."

She leaned toward him and kissed his lips. He stopped kissing her and looked at her.

"Freckles, what the hell just happened?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she shook her head.

"Kate, no you're not," he argued. "Tell me what just happened. Did I hurt you? Is it…the baby. Did I-"

"No," she said. "I really just want to go to bed. Please. Let me-I'll tell you later. I just- I want to drop it. Please…please."

"Fine," he whispered. "We'll just go to sleep. But you're not entirely off the hook Freckles."

"Ok," she replied. "Goodnight James. I love you."

"Freckles," he said touching her cheek. "I wouldn't hurt you…you'll tell me if it's too much right? I don't want to hurt you for anything in the world."

"No," she smiled. "It felt good James. It felt amazing. It didn't hurt."

"Good," he replied and kissed her. She kissed him back deeply, but then flipped over so her back was to him, but she was still pressed against him. He wrapped his arms around her protectively and somewhat possessively, but she didn't mind.

The next morning Sawyer and Kate were getting ready for the day. Kate was in the bathroom straightening her hair. Sawyer was watching her from the bedroom. He looked at her and smiled.

"What?" she asked, turning her head toward him, but still concentrating on the flat iron. He got up off the bed and went toward her.

"This is just-" he began. "We're doing this couple thing. I mean…with Juliet it was a bit different. It wasn't really real. But-I never really saw you as doing the "playing house" thing."

"So are you almost ready to go?" she asked.

"Go where?" he whispered.

"James!" she exclaimed. "My doctor's appointment! I have to drop Aaron off at Carole's and then go to the doctor."

"I'll…I'll meet you there," he said. "I sorta…I made plans to meet up with Cassidy today. She's in town. She-she agreed to meet with me. It might be my chance to see Clementine."

"You told me you'd come with me," she whispered.

"I know," he sighed. "I'll meet you there ok. When's the appointment?"

"Noon," she answered.

"Ok, it's 9:30 right now," he replied. "I'll meet up with Cass and be to the doctor's office by noon. I promise. I don't want to miss out…for the second time. I'll be there Freckles."

"OK," she whispered. He leaned forward and kissed her to try and reassure her. Partially it worked, but mostly she just wished he was coming with her.

She was at the doctor's office. She was sitting in the waiting room. Every woman was paired with a man. She even saw two women sitting together holding hands. One of them looked nearly 8 months pregnant. She smiled weakly at the couple and then looked at her watch. He was late. She was going to have to do this by herself. She wished that she hadn't put her trust in Sawyer. She was scared. She had never been pregnant before. She didn't even know if it was possible. Until she had met Sawyer she thought that she would live the rest of her life without ever being a mother. Then she got Aaron. It made her ache for a child of her own. She and Jack had to get their feet on the ground before they started a family. She understood that, but when that didn't happen either, she thought it never would.

"Katherine Austen?" the nurse came out and called her name. Kate got up and walked toward the nurse.

She was sitting in the room in her paper gown. The more she thought about it, the angrier she was at James. He promised to be there. He wanted to be there, or so he said. She told him that she could do it by herself if he didn't want to, but he told her he did. Everything he said was a lie. Was he even meeting with Cassidy? She knew that she was taking things way further than they needed to go. He wouldn't cheat on her, but all the most horrible things were crossing her mind. But then she thought…what if he was seriously hurt, and she was sitting there accusing him of cheating. Her heart started pounding. She could hear it in her ears. She wished the doctor would hurry up and examine her.

"Ms. Austen," the doctor said, coming into the room.

"Yeah," she whispered.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Yep," she nodded. "Let's get this over with."

"Have you ever had an ultra sound before?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head.

"It's kinda cool," he told her. "And considering this is gonna be your kid you're looking at, it's absolutely amazing. Now, are you doing this all alone?"

"I didn't think so, but…he's not here, so maybe I am," she answered.

"Don't worry," he replied. "I'm going to tell you everything that I'm going to do, before hand. Alright?"

Kate nodded.

"Ready?" he asked. She nodded again and smiled weakly. "Don't you worry Ms. Austen. We're going to take really good care of you. And in 9 months, when you're ready to give birth…everything will be fine. You'll have plenty of people helping you."

"OK," she said, feeling more reassured and less nervous.

"Let's get the first picture of your baby ok?" he said. She nodded.

* * *

That night Kate was sitting on the couch looking at the picture of her baby. It was tiny. She couldn't even really see anything in it. She didn't get what the gray blobs were. The baby was too little to actually see anything anyway. Just a tiny heartbeat. And Sawyer missed it. She was pissed, but she was more sad than anything. He told her he didn't want to miss it, but he still wasn't home yet. No call, no text, no nothing.

The door opened and Kate looked up, but didn't move from her spot.

"Where have you been?" she asked calmly.

"Seeing my daughter," he answered softly.

"Well, here's a picture of your new baby," she replied, standing up and handing him the picture. "I'm glad you met Clementine, but did you even once think about us?"

"Honestly Kate, no," he shook his head. "It's not…Freckles, it has nothing to do with us? Baby, I love you. I want to be with you. I want to be with our baby…but I just met Clementine! She's 6 and I just saw her today. I really didn't have the time to think. I'm so sorry that I missed your appointment, but don't hate me."

"Ok," she whispered. "Fine. But James…three strikes. You're on your third chance. If you-I can't have you doing this to me…to Aaron. You're either gonna be here or not. It's your choice."

"Ok," he whispered. "I screwed up. I'm sorry."

She nodded.

"Let's just go to bed, it's been a long day," she said.

He held out his hand and she took it. He squeezed her hand and then looked at the picture that Kate had given him.

"He's cute…got my nose," he told her somewhat sarcastically. She smiled and shook her head.

"I hate how you can do that to me," she continued smiling. "I can be so mad, and then you just go and say something so-"

"Charming? Witty?" he asked.

"Shut up," she shook her head and kissed him softly. "For some reason I just can't hate you James."

"Perhaps because you love me?" he asked, but it wasn't really a question. "I'll be here for you Kate. I'll always be here."

"I trust you," she nodded. "Call me completely crazy, but I trust you."

**A/N: So this story will continue, but it's taking somewhat of a backseat to my newer story. I hope you still like it though. Thanks! **


	5. Chapter 5

She woke up in the morning. She looked over at the clock. It was early. Sawyer was still sleeping. She knew that Aaron would stay asleep for a little while longer. She looked at his face and then reached over and touched it. He flinched slightly, but he didn't wake up. She chuckled softly to herself. She rolled on top of him and kissed his lips deeply. He woke up and wrapped his arms around her. She stayed on top of him and kissed him deeper. He groaned and tried to flip them over, but she held him. He could have easily over taken her, but he didn't. She ran her hands down his body.

"Are you hard?" she whispered into his ear, moving against him. "I love morning sex."

"Hmm," he grunted.

"I'm glad you're here," she said. He looked up at her and reached up to touch her face. He rolled them over. He kissed her deeper and she sighed softly into his mouth. He ran his hands up her arms and then held her hands down above her head. She closed her eyes and shook her head, but then kissed him.

"Do you like that?" he asked, running one of his hands between her legs and the other still holding her hands. "Yeah, you do."

"Slow down," she whispered.

"Hmm," he said into her mouth. He pushed two fingers into her and she moaned and licked her lips.

"More," she replied. He chuckled and pulled his boxers down. He started lowering down and she shook her head. "Wait."

"For what?" he asked softly and gently. "I'm so hard. And you're wet, you know you want it."

She gasped softly, and he lowered down, keeping his hands holding her arms. She moaned and then started struggling.

"Stop!" she exclaimed. "Get the fuck off me! Stop it!"

He quickly got off of her and sighed deeply.

"What is going on with you?" he asked with another soft sigh. "I-I didn't do anything wrong Kate."

"You were forcing me," she answered. "You weren't listening. I told you to wait and you didn't listen. And you were holding me down. I couldn't get up."

"I wasn't holding you down!" he exclaimed loudly. "Jesus, you're acting like I raped you!"

"You were!" she yelled back at him. "I told you no! I said no over and over again. I can't-I can't do this-"

She ran from the room and flung her robe around her body. Sawyer sighed again and she slammed the door. He waited 10 minutes before cautiously leaving the room and going down the stairs. Kate was watching Aaron eat his cereal. He walked toward her and sighed softly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He touched her lower back and she moved away from him.

"Just don't," she said.

"Kate, I don't know what to do," he stated softly. "This just isn't like you."

"Well excuse me," she scoffed. "I'm pregnant. I have some hormonal things going on. I wanted it, but I changed my mind. Woman's prerogative."

"Not if you're going to accuse me of rape," he whispered softly. "I gotta get going. I'll see you tonight."

"Fine," she murmured. "Where are you going?"

"I just have a few errands to run," he told her. "I'll be back later tonight, I promise."

"Whatever," she answered. "Do whatever you want."

"Hey," he whispered and put his hands against her shoulders. She quickly backed away and smacked his hand away from her. "Kate. Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to me?"

"I-" she shook slightly.

"I thought you loved me," he replied. "Why would you-"

"Just go," she replied. "I'll see you tonight."

* * *

When Sawyer came home, Kate wasn't downstairs. He got home before dinner, so he wasn't entirely sure where she was. He walked up the stairs with the bag of stuff he bought and the dozen roses he got her. When he walked past Aaron's bedroom, he didn't see him. He went into the bedroom and found Kate laying on the bed.

"Hey," he whispered. She sat up and looked at the roses. "You ok?"

She nodded, but she didn't look ok. He handed her the flowers. She set them down and looked at him.

"I'm sorry about this morning," she said softly. "I'm so sorry."

"Me too," he sighed. "Freckles, you know those errands?"

"You're leaving me," she nodded. "I get it. You don't want to do this whole-"

"Hold up," he shook his head and interrupted. "Kate, are you crazy? Of course I'm not leaving you! I got you-"

He picked up the bag of stuff and dumped it on the bed. It was all kinds of baby things. Clothes, and other essentials. Nothing was blue or pink, so it would work for a boy or a girl. Kate put her hands to her face and let out a soft sob.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "I thought-"

"What happened?" he whispered. "Is the baby-"

"The baby's ok," she answered. "The baby's ok."

"Where's Aaron?" he asked.

"Carole came to get him," she whispered. "I told her that she should keep him for a while, till I could figure some things out. Because I thought-"

"Kate," he shook his head. "After everything we've been through…do you really think that-that I'm just going to leave you? I mean-I know yesterday I screwed up at the doctor. I should have been there, and I'm sorry I wasn't. But-there's something else. Kate what the hell happened this morning. Just tell me."

"No," she sobbed. "I don't want to. I-"

"Am I going to have to worry that every time I touch you, you're going to freak out?" he asked. "Just tell me what happened?"

"Ok!" she exclaimed. "Just stop yelling at me!"

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "I'm just-I'm frustrated."

"When I was 15 I was raped. I was raped by my dad and-"

"Whoa, what?" he exclaimed.

"He didn't know I was his daughter, but he would come in my bedroom and-my whole life I've just wanted someone to take care of me," she said. "No one ever did. Not my dad, and not my mom, and then-I don't know, you did take care of me and then I lost you and-I felt like I was losing you again. I thought you-you have this whole other life. And Clementine lives there. She lives in New Mexico. I thought you were going to leave us to be with her-not that I want to keep you from her but-"

"Kate," he sighed. "Darlin' I'm so sorry. Come here."

"Make love to me," she whispered, kissing his lips. "Make love to me James."

He kissed her and ran his hand over her cheek.

"I won't hurt you Freckles," he whispered. "You wanna know why I was hanging out with Clementine?"

She nodded, but didn't say anything.

"I want to be a good man," he replied. "I wanted to be a good father for our baby. I was sort of testing it out. But you're right…Clementine lives in New Mexico…and I live here in LA. I'm not going anywhere Kate. I can't-Cassidy doesn't want me near her. She told me I could meet her so that one day she could tell her who her real dad is, but-I'm not her dad. I can't be-I realized that I have to start fresh with you Freckles. I can't try to be a better dad for Clementine."

"Yes you can," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't keep you from her. I won't keep you from her."

"But Cassidy will," he murmured. "I've met her. That's all that matters. Maybe when she's older she'll come looking for me, but I can't go in and out of her life. It wouldn't be fair to her. My life is here in LA with you and Aaron."

"You can't tell me that you won't think of her," she answered.

"I'll think about her," he nodded. "But right now, I'm more worried about you and the baby. I just want you to get better. Just don't worry. I'm gonna take care of you."

"He would come," she sniffled. "I would sit and hope that he wouldn't. I would wait up until he came into my room. He-"

"You don't have to," he began. "I don't want to make things worse."

"I think it might help," she whispered. "You're not him. You would never do what he did to me. It started with him coming into my room and he would lay down next to me. He would tell me how beautiful I am. And then one night…he kissed me. His mouth tasted like whiskey and cigars. I nearly threw up and I pushed him away, but he rolled on top of me and held me down. When I tried to scream he covered my mouth with his hand. He pushed so hard I couldn't breathe. And then…"

"Freckles," Sawyer whispered.

"He wasn't gentle," she shook her head. "He didn't even try. He would just-but then sometimes he would hold me afterwards. And-I don't know he acted as if what we did was some loving thing, but-he told me all the time it was my fault. I would walk around my own house wearing my pajamas and he said it was too enticing."

"What a sick fuck," Sawyer said. "Tell me where he is…I'll kill him."

"Already beat you to it James," she murmured. "Anyway…I never told anyone. It would kill my mom because she loved him so much."

"Well I'll bet she wouldn't love him if she knew what he did to you," he answered.

"No," she shook her head. "She told me all the time…'Katherine, you can't help who you love. The heart wants what it wants. I love him. For good or bad, I love him'. She wouldn't have believed me anyway."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Come here."

He wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head against his chest. He ran his hands down her body and rested them on her stomach.

"I'm going to be here Freckles," he said. "I ain't goin' anywhere."

"I'll help you see your daughter," she whispered. "Cassidy won't make me and Aaron stay away."

"I just think it would be better-" he sighed and then stopped. "I have a lot on my plate right now Kate. I mean…Aaron, and you, and the wedding and the baby…I just think I shouldn't add one more thing to it. I don't want to abandon her, but it's a little late for that. I mean, if you keep going to see her, maybe I'll come a couple times, if Cassidy says it's ok, but I can't be her dad right now. I can't-I can't do it."

"Ok," she said softly. "But if you ever change your mind, promise me you'll let me know."

"I will," he smiled. "Freckles, I'm really glad you told me. It must have been hard, but I'm glad you got it off your chest."

"I promise to try not to freak out again ok?" she asked. He nodded and kissed her lips softly.

**A/N: Please please review! I think that I'll probably do a couple more chapters, that are more fluffy and then that will be it.**


	6. Chapter 6

He was holding her tightly. She flipped over and looked at him. He wasn't sleeping this time. He looked at her and smiled weakly.

"Are you feeling better?" he whispered. She nodded and pressed her face against his chest. She ran her hands down his back and sighed softly.

"What about you?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he told her. "Should we go pick up the kid?"

"No," she shook her head. "Carole's going to bring him home in a few hours."

"You're so beautiful," he whispered.

"James?" she asked.

"Hmm," he murmured.

"This is my favorite part," she whispered. "Laying here with you. Just you and me."

"What about little junior here?" he said, resting his hand against her stomach. She smirked and nodded. She put her hands on top of his. "Freckles, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," she whispered and cuddled against his chest. He ran his hands down her back and pulled her closer. He kissed the top of her head and sighed softly.

"Do you really think that I was going to leave you?" he asked. "You think that I would have just dropped everything to be with Cassidy and Clementine?"

"No," she shook her head. "I was just-thinking the worst of the worst. I don't know why. I guess because of my stupid hormones. And I guess because I thought you wanted to be Clementine's dad."

"Clementine and Cassidy are comfortable," he said. "She told me that she doesn't need me. And not only that…but she found someone. She has a boyfriend. I don't want to screw her life up again. Or our lives. When's your next doctor's appointment?"

"A month," she answered. "Right now they're far apart. But soon they'll be a lot closer together."

**One Month Later**

Kate was in the bathroom throwing up. The doctor told her that the morning sickness should go away after the first trimester was over. She had 3 more weeks to go. She coughed and sat up.

"Mommy?" Aaron asked coming into the bathroom cautiously. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm fine Aaron. It's ok."

"James is gone," he said.

"What?" Kate asked with a sharp gasp. "What are you talking about?"

She got up quickly and went down the stairs. Sawyer wasn't there. She picked up her phone and dialed Sawyer's number.

"Hello?" he asked.

"James, where are you?" she asked. "I woke up and you weren't in the bed, but I thought-and then Aaron told me you were gone. Where the hell did you go?"

"Kate, calm down-" he began.

"I have a damn doctor's appointment today, or did you fucking forget again!" she exclaimed.

"Kate, stop it!" he yelled back. "I went to get you a damn doughnut to make you feel better! I'm almost home."

Kate grumbled and hung up the phone. She went down the stairs, where Aaron already was. Aaron was sitting on the floor playing with his toys. He was building something with his blocks. Kate sat down next to him and ran her hand over his hair.

"Mommy?" he asked. "Is James my new daddy?"

"Aaron," she whispered. "Please don't-"

"You kiss him, like you kissed Jack," he replied.

"I know," she sighed. "I love him Aaron. When you love someone you kiss them and hug them."

"But mommies and daddies kiss like you and James," he stated.

"I know," she said again.

"You're my mommy, so since you kiss James, is he my daddy?" he asked again.

"Aaron, do you want a daddy?" she whispered softly.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I really want a daddy."

Kate looked up and saw Sawyer standing behind them. He was holding a bag of doughnuts. Kate stood up and walked toward him.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I don't want to push you away. I don't want to make you hate me."

"Never gonna happen Freckles," he said. "What time is your appointment?"

"We should leave soon," she answered.

"Is Carole gonna baby-sit?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "She's coming here to pick him up."

* * *

They were waiting in the waiting room. Sawyer looked uncomfortable. Kate grabbed his hand to reassure him.

"Everything is gonna be good Sawyer," she whispered. "Everything's going to work out."

"I want to be a good father," he told her. "What if I'm bad at it Freckles?"

"You won't be," she shook her head. "If you want to be good at it, then you will be."

"Come here," he whispered. He leaned forward and kissed her lips softly. She kissed him back. Neither of them heard the nurse call her name. It wasn't until she came over and tapped Kate on the shoulder. Kate looked at her and smiled, somewhat embarrassed.

"Sorry," she said.

"It's ok," the nurse smiled. "I'm just glad to see him here with you today."

"Me too," she nodded. He held her hand as the doctor examined her. The doctor didn't explain everything he did this time, since Kate had already gone through it. But Sawyer watched everything very carefully.

"You want to hear the heartbeat for the first time?" the doctor asked. Sawyer nodded and took a deep breath.

"Are we gonna find out if it's a boy or girl?" he asked.

"Hmm, it's still a little too soon," he answered. "We'll probably have to wait till she's about 5 months along."

"Ok," he whispered.

"I want a little girl," she told Sawyer. Sawyer smirked and ran his hand over her forehead. The doctor put the ultrasound machine against Kate's belly. The sound of the heartbeat filled the room. Sawyer looked down at Kate. She was staring at the screen.

"Look," she whispered and pointed to the screen.

"What do I look at?" he asked. "I mean, I don't see nothin'."

"That's an arm," the doctor began. "And that's the head."

"Oh," he mumbled. "This is-this is so-"

"Cool huh?" Kate smiled at him. He nodded with his mouth wide opened.

"Well, I was going to say it's amazing," he said. "But cool too."

"I love you so much," she whispered.

"Are you guys planning your wedding for before the birth?" the doctor asked.

"We were going to do something really quick just down at the courthouse," she answered. "I don't know when. We haven't made any plans."

"I think we gotta work on our trust before we walk down any aisle Freckles," he told her. "I love you, but if you don't start trusting me…"

"Screw you Sawyer, when have you ever given me anything that says I should trust you?" she asked.

"I'm not cheating on you," he replied. "Why would I cheat on you? You have more than enough personalities to keep me perfectly satisfied."

"Shut up," she scoffed. "Why are you even bringing this up right now?"

"Maybe we shouldn't do this in front of the doc," he stated.

Kate opened her mouth to say something, but then looked at the doctor who was studying both of them. She closed her mouth again.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-" the doctor began.

"Don't worry about it. It's been happening a lot lately," she whispered.

The rest of the doctor's visit was mostly quiet, aside from the doctor telling Kate what to expect. The drive was even more deafening. Kate was sitting in the passenger seat with her arms crossed. She reached forward and turned on the radio. She flipped through the channels but there wasn't anything good on. She flipped the radio back off and sighed deeply. Suddenly, Sawyer pulled the car over.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"This is stupid," he shook his head. "Us giving each other the silent treatment? I mean…Kate…why are we doing this to each other?"

"I don't know," she whispered.

"I'm not going to cheat on you," he told her. "There would be no point. You're pregnant."

"Men cheat on their pregnant wives and girlfriends all the time," she responded.

"Fine," he sighed. "You don't have to believe me Kate. Let's just go home."

He turned the car back on and drove off. Kate looked at him, but Sawyer refused to look back at her. When they pulled into the driveway, Sawyer got out of the car and went into the house without waiting for Kate. Kate let out a soft sob and started getting out of the car.

"Mommy!" Aaron's small voice said behind her. She turned and smiled at him. She picked him up and looked at Carole. Carole handed Kate his bag of toys. Their exchanges were almost always mostly silent. But this time, Carole noticed something in Kate's face.

"You alright?" she asked softly. Kate nodded and squeezed Aaron protectively.

"I don't know if I can do this Carole," she whispered. "Me and Sawyer-"

"You think he doesn't love you?" she asked.

"I don't know what to think anymore," she shrugged. "I mean, he said he wants to do this with me. He wants a wedding and kids, but I feel like I'm forcing him, and that's-he's going to end up resenting me. Hating me."

"Then you should talk to him," Carole answered.

"I love him so much," she whispered. "I'm just scared. I'm scared of being hurt."

"Tell him," Carole advised. "I'll see you in a week."

"K," Kate nodded.

She wouldn't talk to him. When she got into the house Sawyer wasn't there. She assumed he was upstairs. She decided to start making dinner. Aaron sat in the kitchen watching his favorite cartoon while Kate cooked. Every so often Kate would put a piece of food in front of Aaron so he could test it. He was her best food critic. He always told her the truth. No holding back. She put a piece of cooked spaghetti on the small plastic plate.

"Don't pick it up yet, it's hot," she said to him as his tiny fingers reached for the noodle. He blew on the plate, mostly getting spit all over it. She chuckled and he picked it up and ate it.

"All done mommy!" he exclaimed.

"It's cooked all the way?" she asked.

"Uh huh," he nodded. "I want to eat. I'm hungry."

"Well, just as long as it's completely cooked," she answered.

"I like it momma," he nodded. She smiled at the small child and bustled around the kitchen finishing the rest of the meal. It looked perfect. She served three plates of food and put them at the kitchen table. Then she lifted Aaron off the bar stool and put him at his spot at the table.

"I'm gonna go get James," she whispered.

"Are you guys in a fight?" he asked.

"Everything is gonna be fine Aaron," she told him, mostly telling herself. She took the stairs two at a time and went down the hall. Her bedroom door was wide open, but the spare bedroom door was closed, telling her that Sawyer was there instead. She knocked on the door and tried to open it. It was locked.

"Dinner!" she said loud enough to go through the door. She kicked the door in frustration and went back down the stairs. She and Aaron ate dinner by themselves. She waited for Sawyer but he didn't show. She sighed deeply and picked up his plate of food which was now cold. She went to dump it in the trash, but then thought about it and instead covered it with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge. She knew she shouldn't be nice to him and save it, but she was mostly saving it so that she could have it for lunch the next day. She gave Aaron a bath, still no sign of Sawyer. She put Aaron in his pajamas and read him his goodnight story.

"Mommy, do it like James," he requested. Sawyer read to Aaron frequently. She knew that he did silly voices for Aaron's sake. He was going to make a great dad to their baby, if he wanted to be. Kate read to him, without doing the voices and then went into her own bedroom. She walked to the side of the wall where her and Sawyer's rooms connected. She pressed her ear to the side of the wall to see if she could hear anything. She couldn't, but she quickly reached over to her bedside table where an empty glass was sitting. She pressed it against the wall and could hear it ever so faintly. His heavy breathing. It wasn't snoring. He was…she closed her eyes and listened. She realized that she was aching. She could feel the warm liquid in her panties. She fumbled with her button on her jeans and pushed her hand quickly into her underwear. She knew how to pleasure herself. She had done it for years. She sometimes did it with Sawyer lying right next to her, but this time it wasn't working. It wasn't satisfying. She was thinking too much about him. She sighed deeply and stood up. She went to her closet and took the box down quickly. It always amused her that she kept her vibrator right next to her gun. She pulled the vibrator from the box and quickly went back to the wall. She pulled her pants down quickly and turned the vibrator on. It was loud. She hoped that Sawyer could hear it, but at the same time hoped he couldn't. She fumbled with the glass. Holding the glass with one hand and the vibrator with the other. His breathing had stopped. She sighed deeply and put the glass down. She slammed the back of her head against the wall, perhaps slightly harder than she meant to. She laid down on the cold hardwood floor. She let out a frustrated groan and got up. She went to the bed and laid down on her stomach, taking the vibrator with her. She wasn't being satisfied. She didn't hear the click of the lock, but then she did hear the door creak open. She quickly turned the vibrator off so the buzzing stopped.

"Aaron?" she asked, she flipped over and saw him coming toward her. He shut the door and re-locked it. He walked slowly. He was only wearing a pair of boxers. She flipped back over and turned the vibrator back on, this time on a faster setting. The buzzing was turning her on, but it still wasn't doing the trick. He sat down on the bed and watched her. She turned her face toward him and opened her mouth.

"Does it feel good?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded, slightly lying because she knew he would be better. "Jack."

"Name's Sawyer sweet cheeks," he answered.

"No," she whispered and shook her head. "I named my vibrator, Jack."

"How often do you fuck Jack?" he asked, laying down and moving closer to her.

"Every night," she replied. "I think about him while you're on top of me."

"Nice try," he chuckled and flipped her over.

"Stop!" she exclaimed.

"Keep going," he told her, gesturing to the vibrator. He watched her. She closed her eyes and continued.

"I can't do this with you watching me," she replied.

"Seems to me, that you can't do this without me," he answered. He smirked at her and she put the vibrator on the bedside table. She rolled on top of him and sighed deeply.

"I don't want to do this without you," she whispered. "Do you want to marry me?"

"What?" he asked.

"I just want to know," she began. "I won't be mad at your answer, and I won't cry…I just want to know. Do you even want to get married?"

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you Freckles," he began. "So in the end, yeah, I guess that means marriage."

"But I don't want to do this if you don't want to," she shrugged. "I can be content living with you and our kids the rest of my life without getting married."

"Let's get married," he whispered.

"James," she half chuckled. She rolled off of him, but stayed facing him.

"We'll go down to the courthouse tomorrow," he said. "We don't need anyone but us."

"We'll need witnesses," she told him.

"Listen to me," he whispered. "I love you. I'm not going to let us push each other away. We're having a baby."

"I know," she nodded. "You're right. I've been stupid. I have to-I have to make sure that I stay sane for the sake of me and Aaron, and the new baby."

"So, did you really name your vibrator Jack?" he asked moving closer to her and pulling her toward his chest. She chuckled sweetly and shook her head.

"I just wanted to piss you off," she whispered. He leaned forward and kissed her gently.

"Good," he replied.

He pulled her toward him and ran his hand down her back.

"Promise me," she whispered.

"Sweetheart," he began. "Promise you what?"

"Promise me that this all isn't just-" she shook her head. "Promise me we're going to have a good life."

"I promise you that I love you, and I ain't goin' anywhere," he replied. "We're going to have a good life."

**7 Months Later**

Kate was at the hospital by herself. She had called Sawyer and texted him, but he wasn't there yet. He had been on a business trip. She went into labor a week early. She hadn't wanted Sawyer to go on the business trip in the first place, but he insisted that he would make it back in time.

"Mrs. Ford are you ready to give birth?" the nurse asked coming into the room. She twisted her ring on her finger and shook her head.

"Where's my husband!" she exclaimed.

"I'm here," he said coming into the room. "I'm here, I'm here. I'm sorry."

"Just hold my hand and shut up!" she yelled at him. He grabbed her hand and the doctor instructed Kate on what was happening. Sawyer whispered in her ear and she shook her head.

"Hey," he whispered. "I got here as soon as I could."

"Stop talking!" she exclaimed. "I don't want to hear your voice right now."

After it was over, Kate was sitting in the hospital bed holding the baby. Sawyer was sitting next to her watching her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and kissed her forehead.

"It's not your fault," she answered. "I'm just glad that you didn't miss all of it."

"You're not mad at me?" he asked.

"Not after looking down at this perfect baby," she responded. "She's so perfect."

"She's beautiful," he said. He looked at her and kissed her softly. "Can I-"

"Yeah," she smiled. She handed him the baby. He looked down at the baby and walked across the room. He looked in awe. He looked as if it was the first time he ever saw a baby. He ran his fingers gently across her face. She was sleeping perfectly. Kate was right. She was perfect. Life didn't get much better. He looked back at Kate, who had already fallen asleep. He sat down in the chair near the window.

"I was visiting your sister," he whispered. "Well…half sister. I was doing business, just like I told your mom, but I took a little detour to see your sister. As soon as your ma called, I hopped on the first plane here. I got here as soon as I could. I bet your brother can't wait to see you."

Kate flipped over and mumbled. Sawyer walked back over to her bed. He put the baby down in the crib and then laid down next to Kate.

"You went to see Clementine?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," he sighed. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "It wasn't planned or anything. I was in Albuquerque…you knew that."

"I know," she nodded. "I sorta thought you would see her. I'm glad you did."

"Me too," he answered. "It's only been 9 months, but she's gotten big. She-she wants to come and visit us. And the new baby."

"Yeah," she nodded. "Yeah, she should come."

"I love you so much," he whispered. She nodded and cuddled against him.

**A/N: Please review. One more chapter after this. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Ok, so this is the last one. It jumps ahead a lot and it's short, but I hope it's enough. **

Kate was laying in the bed with the baby next to her. Sawyer walked into the bedroom and sat down next to her. He ran his hand over Kate's forehead.

"Aaron wants you to come tuck him in," Sawyer told her. She smiled weakly and sat up. He picked up the baby who was starting to fuss slightly. Kate left the bedroom to go to Aaron's. He was waiting in the hallway.

"Mommy, picky uppy!" he exclaimed. Kate chuckled softly and picked him up and held him closely.

"Hey baby," she whispered.

"I'm not a baby!" he yelled. "Casey is a baby."

"Yes," Kate chuckled. "You're right. I'm terribly sorry. You're my big boy."

"I don't like the baby," he frowned.

"Aaron," she sighed. "You don't mean that."

"Yes I do!" he exclaimed. "You don't like me anymore."

"Aaron, I love you," she replied. "You're my baby."

"I'm not a baby!" he yelled again. She took a deep calming breath and laid Aaron down in his bed.

"Sweetheart, do you know how much I love you?" she asked. "I love you to huge."

"I love you to huge too, mommy," he answered.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I bet you feel left out huh?"

He nodded and she kissed his forehead.

"Well I promise to spend more time with you," she replied, running her hand over the same place she kissed him. "We'll set aside special times for just you and me ok?"

"Ok," he nodded and frowned, but then smiled and seemed happier.

"Love you buddy," she whispered. She kissed him again and then got off of the bed. He rolled over to the wall, and Kate backed out of the room slowly. She turned off Aaron's light and turned on the soft glow light on his dresser. She shut his door, but not all the way and then went back to the bedroom. Sawyer was still holding the baby. He was looking down at her.

"And then the ruggedly handsome prince pushed the princess against the bars of the cage-" he said.

"James Ford," Kate chuckled crossing her arms over her chest. "If you continue that story-"

"You'll what?" he interrupted. She leaned over him and kissed him softly.

"Why are you telling our two week old baby that story?" she whispered.

"Because," he began. "She was cryin' and it calmed her."

Kate let out a soft laugh and ran her hand over his cheek.

"We should get some sleep," she whispered. "She'll be up in a couple hours."

"I'll take her to her room," he answered. Sawyer got out of the bed and took the baby to her room. When he came back, Kate was still awake. He crawled over the bed and let out a deep breath.

"What's wrong?" she asked softly.

"Hmm," he shook his head. "Just tired. It's hard work."

"Duh," she chuckled. "Did you think it would be easy? Or did you think I would do all the work?"

"Nah," he answered. "I just thought we'd get more than an hour of sleep every night."

She chuckled softly and nodded.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I sorta thought we would have more sleep too."

She leaned forward and kissed him softly. He kissed her back. She chuckled softly and pushed the hair out of his face. She kissed him again, this time deeper. She was running her hands through his hair. She was moving her hand in a small circle massaging his scalp while she played with his hair. He moaned softly and she sucked on his tongue. He took a breath and started rolling on top of her. She gasped softly and then put her hand on his chest to stop him.

"Wait," she said. "You need to stop, or-"

"Yeah," he sighed. "We won't stop. And we have to."

She smiled at him and kissed him again, but this time it was short and sweet.

"I love you so much," she whispered. He ran his hand over her cheek and smiled at her.

**4 Months Later**

The baby was beginning to sleep a little better during the night, but Kate and Sawyer were both still getting up with her a lot.

Sawyer and Kate were watching a movie with Aaron. He had fallen asleep between them. Kate looked at him and got up. She started picking him up, but Sawyer stood up too and looked at her.

"I got it," he whispered. He picked Aaron up carefully and made sure not to wake him up. Kate smiled and then chuckled softly. They walked up the stairs together and went into Aaron's room. Sawyer put him down in the bed and Kate helped him cover Aaron with his blankets.

"Night buddy," Sawyer whispered and ran his hand over Aaron's forehead. He stepped out of the way from Kate. He stepped backwards into the doorway, but watched Kate. Kate said goodnight quietly and kissed Aaron on the cheek. She backed away from Aaron and Sawyer wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her temple. She turned toward him and backed them out of the bedroom. She shut Aaron's door behind her and smiled at Sawyer.

"Do you want to mess around?" she asked with another smile. He didn't answer her, but he stepped toward her and kissed her lips. She chuckled and jumped up into his arms.

"You're not as light as a 4 year old," he pointed out.

"Thanks a lot!" she exclaimed. He rearranged his hands so that he was cupping her ass, but he had a better grip on her. He carried her quickly into the bedroom and threw her down on the bed. She squealed and he laid down on top of her and they started kissing heavier. She moved her mouth and started kissing his neck. She was running her hands up and down his back. He was doing the same. She quickly got out of her pants. He chuckled and did the same. He was back on top of her, but they were still just making out. She took a breath and moaned softly.

"Feel me," she whispered. "You're making me so wet."

He reached his hand down her underwear and she gasped again. He started touching her gently at first. She moved underneath him and arched her head back. He kissed her down her neck and he sucked gently. She closed her eyes and moved against him.

"Are you ready?" he asked. She nodded. He smiled at her and she went back to kissing him. Her underwear were still on. He moved slowly. The baby started crying. Kate groaned loudly.

"Don't stop," she whispered. "She'll be fine."

They both continued moving, but they were both listening to the baby crying. Kate sighed softly and sat up.

"Go on," he said. She sighed again and stood up.

**1 Year Later**

Sawyer was in the bathroom brushing his teeth. She came up behind him and rested her hands on his back. She leaned toward his ear.

"James," she whispered. "I'm so wet right now."

He groaned and spun around toward her.

"Freckles," he said softly. "What-"

She leaned forward and captured his lips. He stepped forward and guided her into the bedroom area. The door was shut. It was around midnight and both kids were fast asleep. They made their way blindly to the bed, keeping their lips and hands busy the entire time. Before they landed on the bed, Kate spun them around so that she fell on top of him. She straddled his lap and kissed him on the mouth. Thunder started in the distance.

"Hmm," she whispered. "Your lips taste good."

"Yours too," he answered. "You been eating that strawberry Gelato without me?"

"Yup," she responded.

"Naughty girl Freckles," he whispered.

"Better spank me," she replied. He smacked her ass hard, but she smirked and went back to distracting him by kissing him. She kissed him down his stomach and then back up. She pulled his boxers down forcefully and started grinding against him, without taking her underwear off. She looked at him and smirked. She pulled her underwear down and lowered down on top of him.

"You're so big," she whispered. She was completely used to it, but she knew that he loved when she complimented him. She moaned loudly, but the thunder hushed her moans. They moved slowly at first, but started moving faster. The thunderstorm was right on top of them. Lightning flashed in the room, giving them both better views of each other.

"Mommy!" Aaron's voice screamed on the other side of the door. Kate gasped loudly and turned toward the door, but stayed on top of Sawyer.

"Just a second," she replied.

"No!" he exclaimed. "Mommy, I'm scared! Mommy!"

"Mommy!" a second voice exclaimed. "Daddy! Scared! Scared!"

Kate sighed and looked down at Sawyer. He closed his eyes, but they both stopped. Kate picked up her pants and put them on quickly. She walked toward the door and opened it. Casey jumped into her arms, much to Aaron's disdain.

"Casey!" he exclaimed loudly. Casey was crying from the thunderstorm, which was still raging and didn't sound like it was going to blow over anytime soon. Kate carried Casey to the bed, and took Aaron by the hand.

"Mommy, I wanna sleep here with you and daddy," Aaron replied. Aaron once called Sawyer daddy, almost by accident, but after that he always called him daddy.

"Come on," Sawyer sighed. "Come here." Aaron smiled happily and jumped on Sawyer excitedly.

"Play!" Casey exclaimed.

"No," Kate shook her head. "It is way too late to play. We're gonna go to sleep."

The kids separated Kate and Sawyer. Casey had chosen to cuddle against Sawyer, and each time the thunder would boom she would move closer to him and hide her face. Aaron was laying next to Kate, but he wasn't cuddled as close to her. Sawyer reached over the kids and ran his hand through her hair.

"Next time," he whispered. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"It'll be when the kids are 16 and dating," she rolled her eyes.

**14 Years Later **

"God!" Casey screamed. "I hate you! You're such a fucking hypocrite!"

"Casey Elaine!" Kate exclaimed. "We do not use that word in this house."

"You and dad do!" she yelled. "Mom! Dad is being so unfair!"

"What is the deal now?" she asked.

"He won't let me leave the house," she scoffed. "Dustin will be here any minute!"

"And you look like a 10 cent hooker!" Sawyer chimed in. "You're not leaving the house with your bra showing and you can practically see your underwear."

"Dad!" she exclaimed.

"You're way too young to be dating anyway," he replied more calmly this time.

"What!" she screamed. "What about Aaron!"

"Aaron is 4 years older than you," he answered. "He doesn't even live here anymore. He's off at college and I can't control what he does."

"Dad," she began, obviously annoyed. "You tell me right now, how old was Aaron when he had his first girlfriend. And I mean real girlfriend who he kissed and did stuff with."

"I guess around 14," he murmured.

"And I remember it!" she exclaimed. "Because it was only 4 years ago. You were so proud of him. You went outside to check on them and they were making out on the porch. You gave them extra time! I'm 15! Why can't I date!"

"Doesn't matter," he shrugged.

"Why because he's a guy?" she asked.

"And you're my daughter," he answered.

"He's your son! I mean, we all know not biologically, but whatever! He calls you dad...close enough!" she yelled.

"You're right," he nodded. "It's a complete double standard, but I don't care. You're my little girl, and I'm going to protect you from perverts. So either you change out of that outfit and chisel some of that make up off your face, or you're not going."

"Mom?" Casey asked.

"Go change," she whispered.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. She stomped up the stairs, muttering incoherent words under her breath the entire time.

"Maybe," Kate began.

"No," he shook his head. "You know damn well that skirt was way too short."

"Yeah," she sighed. "I just-I don't want our daughter hating us."

"She'll get over it," he answered. Casey returned down the stairs in a pair of jeans, but wearing the same shirt. Sawyer started protesting, but Kate held his hand down and shook her head.

"Not worth it," she replied. "Let her go. Bye honey!"

Casey turned back and glared daggers at both of them. Kate looked up at Sawyer after the door was slammed.

"She'll get over it?" she asked.

"Promise," he nodded. "Now…house to ourselves? Son off at college? Daughter out getting knocked up…let's make out, see where it takes us."

"She's not getting knocked up," Kate scoffed. She rolled her eyes once more, but then allowed Sawyer to pull her into a kiss. They were kissing on the couch. Kate knew that if either Aaron or Casey ever found out that she and Sawyer didn't always stay in their bedroom, they would both never sit on the couch or any other piece of furniture in the house. She smirked at him and he ran his hands down her legs. She bit her lip and enticed him to continue.

"Knock knock!" Aaron exclaimed coming through the front door. Sawyer quickly got off of Kate and looked up at Aaron.

"Sweetie!" Kate said excitedly, getting off the couch and going toward him. "I missed you!"

"I'm home for a few days," he stated, setting his bags down and hugging Kate. He lifted Kate up off the floor and she shook her head. "I really gotta run though. I just drove 8 hours without a bathroom break."

He ran up the stairs and Sawyer walked toward Kate.

"So much for having the house to ourselves," he murmured.

"Hmm," she shook her head. "We can be quiet. We'll just have to tell him we go to bed earlier now."

Sawyer smirked at her and put his arm around her shoulder.

"Love ya Freckles," he told her. She nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, I know," she nodded.


End file.
